i just want to move on with my life.

i said that the supervisor of the pca's wanted to attend the meeting with john (the ils worker's supervisor), my ils worker, my case manager, my care coordinator, and i this wednesday and i'm also pretty sure that she wants to attend the meeting to tell them that the pca company (which i use right now) won't allow me to cut my hours of service, so i HAVE to have at LEAST 6 hours (i think it was? because i'm pretty sure that the CADI RN person who came to assess me last week or whenever cut the hours to 4 hours now). it's like i said- ALL the supervisors or nurses or whoever the fuck ALWAYS try to cover their asses when they try to push for more hours by saying they're "just looking out for my safety". the ONLY thing that i REALLY need assistance with is making sure that i don't hurt myself when i walk for 35 minutes straight every day but the rest is JUST pretty much for my convenience and to make things easier on me (so i'm not so tired, like cleaning up and shit). i can clean up after myself and i actually would vacuum except some asshole turned the hose option off on my vacuum and i can't figure out how to turn it back on, so now the only way it vacuums is by pushing it and it DOES ACTUALLY work. my pca always said that shit didn't work but i pulled it outta my closet and tried to push it myself and the fucker sucked up fine. and.. yesterday, while i was walking for 35 minutes with my pca, i don't know what we were talking about but the dick tried to pull the stupid excuse out of his ass that the reason why he doesn't do some things that i tell him to do is because HE CAN'T UNDERSTAND ME. you don't know how much that shit pissed me off because i had just asked him what i said a few minutes ago about something and he looked at me clueless and said, "what are you talking about?" then i said, "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I FUCKIN TALK TO YOU." that's when he TRIED to tell me that it was because he can't understand me sometimes.. then i said, "WELL LEMME TELL YOU- NO ONE HAS TOLD ME THAT THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FUCKIN UNDERSTAND ME IN AT LEAST 5 YEARS. IT MUST BE YOU." then he tried to pull the excuse that he hasn't been in this country for more than a month outta his ass. i proceeded with my argument that no one has told me that they haven't been able to understand me in at least 5 years and i've had at LEAST 3 surgeries on my palette.. TOTALLY IGNORING his "i haven't been in this country for more than a month" argument. whatever buttlord. you shouldn't try to make ME feel like I'M the dumb ass here (that can't speak properly).. jackass. the bottom line is the only way i'm gonna get outta this fuckin apartment and move ON with my life is if i cut down on my pca hours and get on with my life.